The 3rd Annual WHAA Arch Madness Tournament
Arthur: Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the wrap-up report of the third annual William Hezmalhalch Architects Association (WHAA) Arch Madness Tournament! On today’s season finale episode of Totes Offish, my court commentator Jim Nasium will join me, Arty Fischel, in studio to discuss all four rounds of the tournament. This year’s tournament featured WHA projects completed in the last year, a testament to the exciting and high-quality work going on here in our office. Employees filled out their brackets and cast their votes to determine the winner. Jim, did this year meet your expectations?
Jim: Hey there, Arty, thanks for having me back. No, I would say…it exceeded them. While there were more blow-outs this year, the tension really heated up in the Final Floor, and boiled over in the Big Eave Vent.
A: I’d have to agree with you on that point, Jim. Anything notable out of the En Suite Sixteen?
J: Oh, definitely. Covina’s Covina Bowl Bowlers convina-ently bowled over The Orchard in a game closer than the pun would suggest. The bowlers struck down the competition while there was little time to spare, pinning all their hopes on rolling the ball down the court to conserve time. At the last moment, the player spun with a guttural cry of desperation, shot, and knocked one down. Game over. The Cottages threw down Hamilton after Hamilton, counting cash-money shot after shot. But the rough-and-tough Farmers and Merchants Bank team knew it was, in fact, all about the Benjamins. Over on the West, City subbed in and out all 44 of their players, keeping fresh legs throughout the game for long enough to bid those accessory dwelling units adieu.
A: In the Entitled Eight, team Ranchers Espirited Away University Park like they were coached by Hayao Miyazaki. Elsewhere, the crowd was electric with Far-Mer-Chants led by the Far-Mer-Maids cheerleading squad. But no wave of rising and falling crowds could cow the courage of the Coastline. The roar of their fans reverberated from sea to shining seat. The Ventura Bros coasted their way to victory against F&M Bank.
J: The Final Floor spanned two days, two games, and two winners to set the stage for two finalists and the championship game. In the Western Conference, City 44 met Covina Bowl, while in the Eastern bracket, Coastline Ventura faced Ranch Camp. Covina’s Covina Bowl Bowlers, down at half, were cheered on by crimson-clad fans swelling above the noise and yelling “Bowl Tide.” They blew passed “tied” and took the lead, striking hard in the last two frames – enough that the 44 were forced to foul, giving the Covina Bowlers a few bonus throws at the end of the game. Is there a correlated commentary here about modern up-and-comers against teams with deep historical roots? I can’t say, I’m no philosopher.
A: Yeah, we know that to be.
J: I’m, sorry, what was that, Arthur?
A: I said yeah, to be or not to be.
J: Oh, that is a good question. Let’s move East, shall we? The “Battle of the Landscapes” started as a tranquil scene as Coastline warmed-up opposite Ranch. Then the Ventura Bros and Ranch Arrows met and set up Camp, and things got in tents. From the jump, it was like the two were playing a game of chicken, trying to see which team would crack. Coastline was first to break their huevos; Ranch Arrows scrambled for a lead that would last until the fourth quarter. But you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet; Coastline Ventura rallied and ruled the roost.
The finals featured the West’s Covina’s Covina Bowl Bowlers pitted against the East’s west-coast Coastline Ventura in the 3rd Arch Madness Finals. Pindiana Homes, the Bowlers star shooter, started the game with three consecutive threes and a substantial lead. But a coastal breeze blew in and he went cold. Dean Hank of The Ventura Bros, meanwhile, grew red hot, as red as the setting sun Ventura enjoys from their coastal perch. Just like that, the tables turned, and Coastline Ventura took the lead, the win, and the title.
A: In our office, we had a two-way tie for first place. Congrats to veteran players Dan Dugan and David “McCallum Like I See ‘Em” McCallum, who correctly predicted all but one game.
We’d like to say a big thanks to you, our participants, the heart of this tournament. I think that does it for us this year, Jim. Thank you all for tuning in to Totes Offish with Arty Fisch. We’ll see you again next year for another unpredictable descent into Arch Madness. Until then, I’m your host, Arty Fischel.
J: And I’m Jim Nasium, thank you, and talk to you soon.
Leave a Reply